i am a mrs.//01.16.13

On January 11th we held a small vow ceremony with immediate family only and I became a Mrs.

Every time I hear or say, “my husband” the words still sound so strange, even to my own ears. I am almost 30 years old, and my journey has been full of hopes and disappointments, belief for better and discouragement the next day. I watched many close friends find love and have celebrated with them, and I have documented the weddings of countless lovers.

I am a dreamer, but even the greatest of dreamers has the capacity to begin to lose hope … to begin to let the dreaming end. When you feel as though you’ve tried on a million different shoes and none seem to fit, there are days where it seems near impossible to believe that there will come a day when one may.

I share all this because I know the heartache of longing for something that you simply cannot have because life has not handed it to you. I know the pain of working hard to attempt to make something work, only to have it crumble. The heart is not made to endure that kind of heartache over and over again, and yet for whatever reason, some of us have found that to be our story.

I do not claim to have figured out the magic answer, or finally uncovered the missing piece of the puzzle. I didn’t do anything differently or change the less likeable parts of who I am. And yet, here I am, so incredibly honored and grateful to be married to a man with whom our love works. He loves me well,  cares for me well, and my heart sometimes feels as though it might explode when I think about him and our story. Our story is one of hope, of love, of redemption and restoration. Our story is messy and beautiful, far from perfect and yet so much better than I ever imagined.

I still sometimes look at my life in wonder and awe. It feels very surreal sometimes, and yet so normal, easy, and right all at the same time.

To all of you who have ever known the struggle of hope, disappointment, longing, and heartache, my hope and my prayer is that this tiny little glimpse into our story might reignite a glimmer of hope in your own life.

Here is a tiny glimpse of our January 11th festivities, captured by my dear friend Jenna of Red, White and Green Photography. We are so excited to be able to save and plan for a bigger wedding/reception in the Fall with all our loved ones in the mountains of North Carolina. For now, here are a few that Jenna has posted. Be sure to check out the rest on her blog here. Jenna, we can’t thank you enough. Seeing our love through your perspective and your lens made me tear up and feel a surge of gratefulness all over again. I am so blessed I don’t even have words …

The skies opened up after raining all morning to give us the perfect weather.

I got this tattoo when we started dating more seriously and began talking about forever … to me it’s a reminder of how all plants begin new life only after the old plant has to produce a seed that is dead and it falls to the ground. It requires the perfect amount of sunshine, water, and soil for new life to begin. I’ve always been fascinated by beauty in brokenness, and to me this is a small symbol of the new life and beauty that has come out of a rough, broken place.

The next one is Dave’s favorite …

I LOVE the next two … especially his smile on the image on the right. I sure do love him.

Seriously … be sure to check out the rest of Jenna’s sneak peek on her blog!